Tightened Prose - Checklists for Writers

Line Level Editing and Writing Tips for Improving Your Prose

Sometimes the words we include on the page interfere with the story. They may be words used in ordinary conversation, but in a story, these words could be creating distance between the reader and the characters or make the story boring for the reader. Some words can act as roadblocks in our story, prompting the reader to close the book and walk away. It is important to check for these words during your Line Level Edit of your manuscript.

Active Writing, Close Storytelling, and Show, Don’t Tell

As the writer, you are in charge of the words on the page. There are different types of words you should look out for in your prose. The first type are words that tell the reader what is occuring in the story rather than letting them experience things as the characters experience them. Sometimes the use of these words is called Passive Writing.

Coming up: I am sharing 3 **Free** Printable Flyers checklists full of the words you should look out for in your fiction writing.

We do not want to passively tell the reader what is happening in the story. We want our writing to be Active. Passive and Telling words (for example: realized, heard, felt like) act as a filter between what is happening in the story and the reader. We don’t want to create this space between the story and the reader. Cutting Filter Words will close the distance between the reader and the characters and invite the reader into the character’s world by showing them what is happening as it happens.

Here are two examples of how to fix Show, Don’t Tell by removing the Filter/Telling/Passive Words:

Telling: Smith realized he should have waited for his friends to walk home together after school. Now, he was face-to-face with a pack of bullies and feeling way outnumbered.

Showing: If only he had waited to walk home with his friends, then maybe the pack of bullies crowding him wouldn’t be causing his knees to shake worse than a beach house in a hurricane.

Telling: She saw the horse buck and the next thing she heard was the sound of Trevor’s head hitting the ground.

Showing: Chestnut bucked and Trevor flew through the air. Crack! His helmet bounced off the ground.

See how the Showing Examples make you feel right in the middle of the action of the story. Also, notice that once the telling words are removed, the storytelling is active and alive. The story becomes much more interesting and real. By removing the filter/telling/passive words, you are strengthening your writing and even giving your story its voice.

Get to the point

Another type of writing you should cut are Unnecessary Words and Phrases. By cutting unnecessary words, you will make your sentences stronger.

{Examples of unnecessary words and phrases appear in brackets.}

Like a sculptor removing {bit by bit} pieces to find their masterpiece, pruning your draft on a sentence level means {getting rid of} cutting the words which do not {need to be there} belong.

Consider this Henry Ford quote: "If two people agree, one of them is unnecessary." Basically, be strong and independently decisive. You don't need to find approval for your decisions. And neither should the words in your fiction writing.

Think of this when you are crafting each line. You don't want your words to need approval from the words around them {in order to} to be understood. You want the words in each sentence to be strong and stand on their own.

I could leave {a bunch of} examples explaining why each word on the list might be unnecessary in a sentence. In truth, sometimes these words are necessary. You have to look out for these words and phrases and make the decision on a case-by-case basis.

Here is a plan of action for dealing with unnecessary words and phrases:
⭐️Search for the word in your manuscript.
⭐️Read the sentence without the word.
⭐️If the sentence still works, cut the word.
⭐️Practice and this will become second nature as you draft.

You can say that again. Or not.

Another thing that weakens your writing are the use of Redundant Phrases. When you are looking for more unnecessary words to cut from your story, you want to take a close look for any redundant phrases.

Redundant phrases are when two or more words are used that essentially all mean the same thing. You are repeating yourself, which adds nothing new to your story and bores the reader. Be concise by trimming the redundant phrase down to a single word.

My printable list includes some of the more common redundant phrases. There are many more redundant phrases that you should look out for when editing. Examples are: Ask a question (ask), At the presnt time (now), Basic fundamentals (basic), Filled to capacity (full), and Came at a time when (arrived).

Checking these words is one step in a multi-layered process know as revision. Tightening the prose is part of a Line Level Edit of your work-in-progress manuscript. Coming soon, we will explore more of the Line Level and Scene Level Edits that you won’t want to miss. You can sign up for my Newsletter here. You can read further about Scene Level Edits and enjoy the quick tips for improving reader enjoyment in this blogpost here.

If you have any questions or would like more writerly posts like this one, leave me a comment below. You can find links below to follow me on Instagram (where I post daily), Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Until next time, have fun writing your stories and indulging your imagination.

(Click the image for the Link to the Free Download below.)

To get your 3 Free Printable Flyers checklists full of the words you should look out for in your fiction writing when completing a Line Level Edit, go here.

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